Pain
Physical exhaustion
Hunger
Ice packs
4 am
Fatigue
No beer
Blisters
Sunburn
Time away from loved ones
Tapering
Racing makes training worth “it.” To me, the rush on race day, even if it’s just
a last minute 5K, is unbelievable.
Seeing friends before and after the race, competing against yourself,
watching family and friends run, being cheered
(where else in adult life are you cheered?), the free shirt, the medals and
sometimes awards, and of course, the free post-race grub. Race day is awesome.
But for me, the biggest draw is more subtle than those
things; yet, far more powerful. It’s
something that many observers won’t pick up:
fulfillment of hard work.
I believe that humans NEED
work. We need clearly defined goals and
obstacles to those goals. Without such
things, we go a bit mad and perhaps assign importance to trivial things. In training for a race we have goals and
obstacles and no guarantee of success, even if we do everything perfect. How much better can it get? Isn’t that real life?
This is the last week before Saturday’s race. I’m tapering.
It sucks. But I’ve had time to
think. I’ve realized that the pay off, the fulfillment of that hard work, is
far greater than the lowered time, increased speed and so on.
I’ve missed a couple of long training rides and a few short
training rides due to various circumstances beyond my control. I’m not very hopeful of obtaining my goal of
a sub-3 hour finish for a 73 mile ride.
Yet, I’m very upbeat and happy. I
can’t wait to lay it out and see what happens.
This is the one year anniversary of my first ever race or
any sort. The December before last year’s
race I went on an incredibly long ride, 33 miles (it was by far my longest to
date). I was dying at the end, hurting
everywhere and completely gassed. A
friend told me about this particular race, and how it was 73 miles. I remember thinking, “How could someone do that?”
I spent four months figuring out just that!
During training last year I didn’t struggle with losing
weight because I had so much to lose, there was a lot of room for error. I started at about 240, 60 down from the
previous summer. I felt great, better
than I ever imaged I’d feel again.
I didn’t struggle with time to train either. I just made the time…nothing save a family
emergency would get in the way. I told
my boss, “Work will put me in my grave, if I let it. I’m not attending the meeting, I’m training.“ (This was a weekly meeting, I skipped them
all save one because I was tapering that week.)
Now I struggle dropping weight. But I think I have that figured out.
Now I struggle with time.
I’ve got the confidence to know that I’m devoted and that I won’t slip
back into my old lifestyle and I can focus more on work.
Last year I struggled with confidence. Can I complete this task? Will these changes be permanent?
Last year I struggled with anger and disappointment. On one hand I was proud and excited, often
just surprised by the changes. But over
time I became angry for ever getting so big and out of shape. I’ve had to forgive myself, and that’s been a
hard thing.
I no longer struggle with confidence…I got this! How about issues of permanence? The vast majority of people that keep weight
off for a year keep it off for good. See
ya later, 100 pounds.
Anger? Yeah, I still
have a bit of that. I still am disappointed
with myself for the past 12 years. But
it’s a fire that burns deep; it’s part of who I am. I have regrets, that shows I’ve learned. And at mile 60, on Saturday, I’ll be out of glycogen,
and my body will be burning fat inefficiently and be ready to revolt. But, I’ll still have fuel.
So yes, on Saturday, whether I finish sub-3:00 or not, I’ll be
happy. I’ll be happy that I have the opportunity
and ability to participate. I’ll be
happy that I DO participate. Saturday, I’m
going to hurt a bit.
So totally worth it!
Yes, it's all totally worth it.
ReplyDeleteI like how you articulate how the challenges change as we take on and meet those first ones.
So important to be always growing, always moving.