Friday, December 30, 2011

Electronics, The Bart Simpson Approach

The thing is I like reading, I really do.  I like broccoli too. 

What's that, how often do I eat broccoli? 

Oh, only slightly less frequently than I read.

I'm trying to use some of the features of my Garmin 405 that I got for Christmas so I can write a nice review.  Today I wanted to try an interval workout.  As intervals go, this was going to be rather easy, but I ran yesterday and am still recovering from a head cold...STILL!  Here's the plan.  One mile warm up, one mile fast-ish, one mile slow, one mile fast-ish, one mile cool down for a nice 5 mile run. 

I programed the device, no problem.  There are some great youtube videos created by Garmin.  Even without the videos, it's rather intuitive.  I set up my workout, did my routine of pushups and jump rope, lunges, squats and other stuff. 

When I started running I selected "Do Workout." 

A message came across the screen to push some button when finished with the warm up. I was running, it ws hard to read. But, there are only two buttons, so I pushed Start, though I had just started, not finished my warm up.  DOH!  Oh well, I figured the rest would still work fine.

I get to the one mile mark and there were a lot of cars.  I knew the Garmin should've beeped telling me to speed up or slow down, depending on how I screwed up the warm up portion, but I didn't hear it.  Had to be due to the traffic, right? 

Anyhow, I get through with the workout, and while I'm walking I look at the Garmin and it says, "Push Lap When Warm Up Complete."  So apparently I had just done a 5 mile, 45 minute warm up. 

At that point I thought of the Simpsons.  In particular an exchange between Lisa and Bart. 

Lisa:  "I can read you like a book."
Bart:  "Ha ha, you read books!"

This happened in the last tenth-mile of my run: 

As I'm running up my street to go home my daughter is walking down the street with her dog, the camera and a look.  You know the kind, if you're a parent.  I was tired and a little preoccupied with the Garmin (my inability to use it properly), so I didn't think much of it. 

I get home and my youngest daughter asks if I saw her sister.  When I said yes, she asked what she was doing. 

Taking the dog for a walk, I said.

She took duct tape and an exacto knife, she replied.

My wife says, "Did you see Alex?  Did you see what she was doing?"

"Yeah, she was taking the dog for a walk, I'm glad," I said.

I thought, The dog NEEDS some exercise.  Maybe she'll calm down.  She had just gotten into trouble for going 100% spazzo this morning.  Alex should be mature enough to take the dog for a walk without being told.  And how's that for timing? Yeah, I get it! 

Then I wondered if I had yelled at her to take the dog for a walk or what reaction was expected of me because she was walking the dog.  I'm apparently not too bright, especially today!  Plus, these females are confusing. 

It was like listening to a guy who isn't funny but thinks he is, and thinks you're not laughing because you don't get it.  You know, where the guy says, "Eh, come on ..." and pokes at you with his finger.

Twenty minutes later my daughter returns with a huge grin.  She shows me the camera and this was on the screen. 

So much for taking the dog for a walk!

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